Over the past several months, the world watched as the story of Tiger Woods' downfall unfolded. Woods, once championed as a role model for children and for athletes in general, tumbled off of his leadership pedestal after events surrounding his Thanksgiving car crash. This suspicious crash drew back the curtain on his multiple extra-marital affairs, and was the tipping point in the revaluations that caused his reputation's demise.
So what does any sort of leader-- moral, business, role model, etc. – do in a situation like this? Is there a way to recover? While there is no guarantee that you will gain back the respect of your subordinates, peers, employers, or others after such a grand discretion, we do have some tips to begin to heal the damage:
Admit you were wrong...
Woods admitted his wrong, we'll give him that-- it takes guts to face the nation and admit your digressions. What he did not do, which is very important, was address the matter in a timely fashion. This gave his supporters false hope, and gave the naysayers more ammunition against him.
...and mean it:
A lot of the criticism around Tiger Woods' apology was that it was scripted and unemotional. While I am of the belief that apologizing for a major lapse of judgment on national TV requires a great deal of self control and practice, I do see how some people wanted more emotion from the former idol that betrayed their trust. Perhaps showing a little bit more emotion would have appeased their need for justice in a “he hurt us, so he should be hurting too” kind of manner.
Lay low for a while
Most likely, people are a little bit irritated with you if you are in a position where you need to apologize for a bad choice (or a string of bad choices). Even if the situation is on a much smaller scale, your coworkers, subordinates, managers, or family may be unhappy and feel betrayed. They don't want to see you enjoying life, bragging about that awesome vacation to the Virgin Islands, or flaunting your success in the weekend fishing tournament. Instead, stay under the radar-- it will help ensure you aren't prime gossip material and aid in showing you recognize you were wrong (refer to advice #2).
Take corrective measures
To show that he was working towards correcting his addiction to sex, Woods attended rehabilitation. To prove that you are working towards healing your own personal diversion from the moral compass, take the initiative to follow a similar path. Does your office offer classes or online courses addressing your issue? Take them and actually digest their content. Can you take advantage of corporate-sponsored seminars in the area of your digression? Go to them. While sexual harassment training or anger management training may not be fun, it is useful. It can direct you to the next step of correcting your problem, or can even teach you how to address the issue as-is. You might also meet people who have had the same issues. These resources are available for a reason!
Don't mess up again – at all!
I think it is important to point out that once you are caught making a mistake, people will be on the lookout for you to make another. They might even want to catch you. If you are caught with one toe out of line, it gives others a reason to doubt your character and resolve to make amends. This means you must be constantly aware of your actions and any implications they may have. Don't become involved with any potentially dishonest behavior, and make sure you follow all company protocol. So what if no one else does it? You are making up for your bad behavior-- so become the next expert in following company policy.
While these tips are not an “easy out” in the event of a digression, they provide steps that can begin the healing process between you, your peers, your coworkers, etc. Please make sure that you remember one last piece of information: No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. While the magnitude of these mistakes varies, no one has the right to proclaim total innocence from bad decisions. What makes a true leader is how they recover from such mistakes-- and how they prove their sincerity to those around them.
